Thoughts of a Young Wife

Written by: Marissa Msefya

Yes, marriage involves love, but it’s so much more than that. It requires commitment, patience, forgiveness, sacrifice and selflessness. I often say that getting married is one of the most selfless acts you will ever do because marriage is not about you. Rather, marriage is about service to your spouse. Every day, we are supposed to learn about our spouse and become one so that we can bring glory to God.  If we look to the world as a guideline for marriage, then we will think that love is enough to sustain the relationship and we can bounce once it goes left. But, if we look to the bible as our guideline, we will find that service and mercy is the backbone to every marriage. Love is essential in marriage (well any relationship), but love is not enough because human love is fickle. Things change and people change and evolve so we cannot depend on love alone. Think about it…

Rather, marriage is about service to your spouse.

There are moments when we are frustrated, flustered, and disappointed with our spouse and that lovey dovey feeling suddenly dissipates. What is binding us together at that moment? The answer is commitment. When we stood at the altar and exchanged vows, a covenant was made with God. As wives, we vowed to serve and submit to our husbands and they vowed to love us as Christ loves the church. When we think about marriage from that perspective, the notion that love is enough doesn’t suffice.

Too many young adults are marrying and divorcing because they loved each other and now the love is gone because of some reason. Maybe it is infidelity, lack of interest, sickness, or behavioral change. However, I believe that couples who diligently prepare mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for this journey, would not consider divorce as quickly. If there is a deeper understanding of what it takes to be a wife or husband and the selfless servant spirit is embraced early, then divorce would not be an option.  Every day the world is suggesting that divorce and happiness is acceptable, but the scriptures tell us to not be of the world.

It is not easy.

This journey requires you to fight for your marriage daily.

It requires an understanding that the same love you had when you entered the relationship may not be the same love you feel every day.

It requires investment of time.

It requires commitment, sacrifice and selflessness.

It requires help from God.



Dear Lord,

We give our marriage (future marriages) to you. Forgive us dear Lord if we have disappointed you.  We pray that we will fully embrace the role of wife and become selfless servants in our households. Help us to not think or act as the world does as it relates to marriage, but instead to seek your face and your word. Help us to understand the serious commitment and sacrifice that is required in a healthy marriage. We ask that you reveal the areas within us that need to be fixed and pruned so that we can bring glory to you!

In Jesus name,